Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Back in 1999 when I first added what was then 50 facts about me on the site fact number 36 read "None of my friends have died." which was, as you can imagine, a fact I was always very pleased about.

On 8th February 2004 I had to change fact 36.

I first met Jon Gaye in 1989 on a National Union of Students Communications training course at some red-brick university campus where I was representing my students union and he was representing his. It was probably because neither of us quite fitted the regular student officer stereotype that got us talking.

As we were both worked in the student movement (him as an Ents officer in Oxford and me as the communications officers at Leicester Poly) we kept in touch and over the coming months got to become good mates. This isn't going to turn into some gay love story by the way. Jon was undeniably straight and as far as I was concerned at the time, so was I. In time he confirmed his straightness by the arrival of two kids and I ended up disproving mine by coming out.

We stayed in touch after our time in our student unions came to an end. Speaking to each other every month or so and making the effort to see one another once or twice a year. It was one of those really strong friendships that meant whenever we spoke there was no need to 'catch up'. We simply picked things up where we left off. I was proud to be asked to be the Godfather of his daughter, Brenna.

As we both got older our lives drifted further a part. Jon got married and settled into the world of IT. I got gay and settled into the online world. We both shared the belief that we should see each other more often but neither of us really managed to do anything about it.

On 8th February 2004 I got a phone call from a mutual friend of ours. He wanted to know if i'd heard from Jon's wife. I said I hadn't. He then dropped the bomb. Jon was dead.

It seems that early the day before Jon was on his motorbike heading off to the South Coast. At 9.40am a few miles from his house he came off his bike on the A4130 and was killed almost instantly.

I still have his mobile number stored in my mobile.

Posted by Antz at 9:40 AM | Permalink | | |

Previous Posts